[Allison]

Okay, so this is a carry-over from another thread. I am curious now as to why people did or didn't opt to have children. Times in this country are such that it's clearly become a matter of choice. Why did you, or why didn't you?

[Miss Normandy]

The reason I don't have any children is because I am 22 years of age, in college, unmarried, broke, irresponsible, etc. The reasons I don't want children have a lot to do with the fact I am childish enough on my own. I hate waking up in the morning. I HATE IT. I sleep as much and as long as possible. Why the hell would I ever want a child to wake me up 5X a night with bad dreams and irrational fears? I want to sleep in on my days off, then go do what I want to do with who I want to do it with, not get up at the ass crack of dawn to feed a crying baby and then take care of it all day. I could list a zillion more reasons why my life as I know it is NOT compatible with parenting. The reasons I want do children do not yet outweigh the reasons I don't want them. Eventually the scale will tip and I won't care so much about myself and my fantastic, carefree life, and I will find it in my heart to care about another being more than I care about myself. I want to be pregnant. I want to know what that feels like. I want to experience a life I created grow inside of me, then I want to push it out. Yes, I WANT to give birth, it is my god given privilege as a woman. I want to nourish a fragile life on the milk my body produces. I want to watch that life grow and discover a new identity all it's own. I want to help that life become the individual it was mean to be. I want to teach and offer my wisdom and knowledge. I want to love and embrace the thing I have sacrificed all that I have for and I hope to have it love and embrace me back. It is the understanding I have of those reasons for wanting children that have inspired me to donate my eggs to infertile couples who are unable to experience such life miracles on their own. I've also recently founded a charity, The Aldora Foundation, that sponsors families of lower socio-economic status to go through an IVF cycle, something that can cost upwards of $25,000 making it a technology that is limited to only those who are wealthy enough to afford it. I feel that kind of money is best reserved for the upbringing of the child. I can't donate my eggs forever, and I'm hoping the Aldora Foundation will make it possible for me touch the lives of even more families through giving for years and years to come. I'm not trying to spam but I just thought it might be a little relevant to the discussion. I still have to get all the legal framework together so if anyone out there wants to contribute you'll have to wait until that is taken care of. Eventually the charity should be able to accept donations through its website, aldora.org, which will hopefully be up and running by September. Ok sorry. I'm so excited about it I just had to tell someone! Enough from me now *zips lips*

[Allison]

That's really cool, MN. One more thing: if having kids really *isn't* at all about ego, then why have your own when there are about a gazillion kids the world over who need to be adopted. Flame suit on.

[Newt]

Cow pie, that's why. It seems to be human nature to want to procreate. Course, now we use condoms and have abortions so we can have the fun without the matter of having the kids to be responsible for. Having kids can be about passing on your genes, your knowledge, your heritage and helping them learn and do the things that you maybe never did or have the chance to do. It's not about bragging even tho folks do it. But some folks do it about everything. Some people are just better than everyone else. Kids included. That's a good thing too because now we need better people. Better people with better kids = a better world? Then of course there really are people that should never, never, ever have kids. No sense screwing them up too. Like I said, I want somebody at my death bed when I kick the bucket. Just being selfish I spose. I realized this at a very young age so I went for it. So far it's paid off big time. It will be payback time for them and as good a reason as any. Plus the tax deductions. Poop, $400 in the mail from the prez. That's like getting paid to have kids. When they are olde enought they can shop, cook and do all kinds of chores and let you have all of your time for yourself. Even more than if you didn't have them. Sure a little pain and suffering and work now but in the long run look how you make out. I don't need a woman to do my work. I got kids. My daddy tought me right. Truthfully now, if I even thought my kids would turn out like some people, I wouldn't have had em. Adopt? Sorry, I don't want to play roulette with a crack addict or murders etc. unwanted kid. I'm not saying that they all are. You have em, you take care of em. Just an old farts opinion.

[Larry]

I'll address this more sometime tomorrow, but I agree that there is a portion of the "having kids" thing that is purely ego. I should know, I fathered two children. Ego was a part of the reason that I wanted kids. I've never given it much thought until now...and I am actually glad it was brought up for me to ponder...but, in my case, I can't get around the fact that ego was there when I made the decision to have kids. I wish I could say differently, but in all honesty I can't. Right now though, I need to sleep. ZzzzzzzzzZZzzzzzzzzZzzzzzzzz

[Tom]

[christy_E]

WHY?? WHY?? WHY?? Gawd.. I've been asking myself that for over 18 yrs now.

[Fiscally Fit]

Kids cost about $250k?? I forget. The $400 gift from W was nice, but a drop in the proverbial bucket. We had kids because we love kids, not to fill up the SUV or tend to the crops or carry on the family business. What I'd like to know is why people have cats.

[christy_E]

cats? oooooh thats an easy one.. I have cats because I have kids. Something about dogs, cats, rodents, reptiles and kids.. all go together.

[Smokey]

I absolutely, positively, never wanted children. On the rare occassion I'm this sure about something, I do not mine the depths of my soul, I go with the gut feel. I'm the end of the family line. I'll die lonely in some god forsaken place, unless a boulder falls on me before then. That's OK. I'm having a good time now.

[sarbar]

Why did I have a kid, Marylou? Well...sometimes things happen that were not planned for and when one makes a slipup, they pay the piper for it. I took the moral route and didn't shrug off my responsiblities. I was a confirmed "I'll die without kids and be happy" member...or so I thought I was. When I gave birth to Ford on september 25, 1997 my view and my life changed instantly. He was a preemie who had the spirit of a little bear cub. I had no regrets I realized. I knew my life would be different but in a way that one doesn't understand till they go through it. I cannot imagine life without children now-you see them change, they grow up. You guide them in life. After Ford was born I could not understand how anybody could abandon or put their child up for adoption-when you hold your child in your arms for the 1st time after they are born, it is an incredible feeling-that you have created life, a life you are responsible for. One that is so fragile as they stare at you and you realize: you are their world. PS: sleeping in isn't a problem-that is why the good lord invented the television and cartoons

[The Sheik of Araby]

[Miss Normandy]

I think I'll be the kind of nazi mom that does not allow the TV or DVD player to babysit my children, and that's why I know I have my work cut out for me so I'm gonna enjoy my time to myself as long as I can.

[Backpacker Joe]

Credit MUST be given when it's due! That said I agree whole heart-edly with Miss. ML. I offer a compromise. Have a couple/few kids of your own, AND adopt a few. Adoption is a wonderful thing! TB

[Allison]

For me, if having kids were purely altruistic, I would adopt. I haven't, and while I feel a little guilty about that, it clarifies the "why" of it for me. There are other ways in life to make a difference, so if one opts out of kids, all is not lost.