[Miss Normandy]

I like the idea of the bigbrother/bigsiser programs... You can make a difference in the life of a child, but when they misbehave or get pregnant, they aren't yours.

[Allison]

Or you can work in the arts for 16 years. I work for slightly substandard wages so you can see some of the best live theatre in the world.

[Autistic]

Darn. I only worked in the arts for 5 years. My parents worked in the arts for over 50 years each, and they got to see lots of drama. Didn't get to see lots of money though.

[MCaver]

I don't want to have kids because I'm selfish. There are so many things I want to do and so many places I want to go that there's no way in the world I could possibly do it all before I die. I don't see the need to sacrifice more of those things to have kids when I have very little desire for all the other things kids bring. I do have a little bit of paternal instinct in me, but I direct that at my nephews. I am truly happy when people have kids that want them, but I don't see that in my future. I'm not willing to make the sacrifice.

[Sore Feet]

[MCaver]

[Newt]

[Allison]

So Newt, what you are basically saying is that people who choose not to have kids are only doing so out of selfishness? I BEG TO DIFFER!! Matter of fact, the same could be said of people who do choose to have them. Don't think either is the case!

[Newt]

Nope. Not at all. NN

[Smokey]

Hey MCaver, how can remaining childless be selfish? Unless you believe it's mankind's duty to go forth and procreate, then it's just a choice about how to live your life.

[MCaver]

selfish \Self"ish\, a. 1. Caring supremely or unduly for one's self; regarding one's own comfort, advantage, etc., in disregard, or at the expense, of those of others. My "selfish" comment was only half serious, but I'd say that's pretty accurate in this case. I don't want kids becuase I don't want to sacrifice anything to have them. Isn't that regarding myself over the expense of others, my unborn kids? I don't see my selfishness in this case as negative, though. I don't really feel selfish for not wanting kids, but it could be seen that way for those that see procreation as their piurpose, I suppose. But when have I ever cared what other people think? See, I'm selfish!

[catwoman]

[salish]

This is an interesting discussion. When I met my wife I was thirty-seven and just ending a long and wild career as a heavy drinker, hellraiser, carouser, and an unrepentent selfish jerk. It was amazing that she accepted me. Kids were the farthest thing from my mind. I thought, if I can't take care of myself how the hell am I going to take care of a kid? I ended up being a step dad to two wonderful girls who are now married and one has a baby of her own. My wife could not have any more children and that was fine with me. But now, at almost fifty and with both of my parents gone, I sometimes regret that I never had any kids of my own. I sometimes think that we are hollow inside, and missing something very important if we do not procreate. On the other hand, I have friends who have some of the most rotten kids I've ever seen; children from hell who have given their parents many years of grief and sorrow, and continue to do so into their adult years. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, I guess.

[Stefan]

Every action you take is selfish. Every action is selfish no matter how altruistic you think the action is. I wanted kids becuase I wanted to know what it was like to raise and care for children. I wanted to experience that part of life.

[MCaver]

Just because you get something out of an act doesn't make it selfish, unless it is to the detriment of someone or something else. Egocentric, maybe. But not selfish. To be selfish, someone or something else would have to be deprived as a result of my gain.