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Do you like fruitcake?
It’s vile, so I’ll give all mine to Quark
46%
 46%  [ 29 ]
I like it, but I’ll give all mine to Quark anyway
19%
 19%  [ 12 ]
I’ve never had it, but I’ll give all mine to Quark
6%
 6%  [ 4 ]
I don’t know who Quark is, but I’ll give all my fruitcake to Quark
14%
 14%  [ 9 ]
Dammit, you didn’t list my choice, but I will give all my fruitcake to Quark
6%
 6%  [ 4 ]
Posting or voting on this thread binds an agreement to give fruitcake to Quark
7%
 7%  [ 5 ]
Total Votes : 63

Author Message
Quark
Niece of Alvy Moore



Joined: 15 May 2003
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Quark
Niece of Alvy Moore
PostFri Dec 14, 2007 1:30 pm 
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wub.gif  hungry.gif

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"...Other than that, the post was more or less accurate."

Bernardo, NW Hikers' Bureau Chief of Reporting
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Canuck
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PostFri Dec 14, 2007 1:33 pm 
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You really like the stuff?  It's vile, evil, disgusting stuff.  eck.gif  If I somehow am unlucky enough to get one this year, I'll be sure to send it your way.

Edit:  I will admit that my grandmother used to make fruitcake, and made a "hard sauce" (sort of like hard frosting) to go with it.  The sauce was yummy.  The fruitcake was nasty.
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Dogpatch
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PostFri Dec 14, 2007 1:46 pm 
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Oh man, I want some fruitcake. Okay Quark, if I get some I'll share it with you - as long as you share yours with me. You go first. biggrin.gif

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"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
  Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." – Groucho Marx
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Quark
Niece of Alvy Moore



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Quark
Niece of Alvy Moore
PostFri Dec 14, 2007 1:53 pm 
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OK, deal.

I bought one at the store yesterday, and the little old man who bagged my groceries picked it up and exclaimed how much he loves fruitcake, and wondered if that particular brand was any good.

He insisted on carrying my bags for me, since I'm a lady and all, and I joked about not trusting him with my fruitcake.  He blushed and guffawed a little, but he knew I was joking.  Once at my car, I said, "I have an idea!  I was going to rip this baby wide open and have some, so why don't you and I just go ahead and try it!"  He got all embarrassed, but looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching.  I convinced him that his boss wouldn't mind, it's Christmas, afterall.

So he giggled and we ripped the cake open and tore off a big ole chunk and ate it, right there in the parking lot, in the rain.

It was great.

--------------
"...Other than that, the post was more or less accurate."

Bernardo, NW Hikers' Bureau Chief of Reporting
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More Cowbell
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More Cowbell
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PostFri Dec 14, 2007 2:01 pm 
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Life size for Quark (click to get a REALLY BIG fruitcake):
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More Cowbell
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More Cowbell
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PostFri Dec 14, 2007 2:03 pm 
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Quark wrote:
OK, deal.

I bought one at the store yesterday, and the little old man who bagged my groceries picked it up and exclaimed how much he loves fruitcake, and wondered if that particular brand was any good.

He insisted on carrying my bags for me, since I'm a lady and all, and I joked about not trusting him with my fruitcake.  He blushed and guffawed a little, but he knew I was joking.  Once at my car, I said, "I have an idea!  I was going to rip this baby wide open and have some, so why don't you and I just go ahead and try it!"  He got all embarrassed, but looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching.  I convinced him that his boss wouldn't mind, it's Christmas, afterall.

So he giggled and we ripped the cake open and tore off a big ole chunk and ate it, right there in the parking lot, in the rain.

It was great.

If that isn't a true spirit of Christmas story, I don't know what is.   up.gif
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jimmymac
Zip Lock Bagger



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jimmymac
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PostFri Dec 14, 2007 2:05 pm 
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Brother, can you spare a fruitcake?

(URL does not link to Abba tribute site.)

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"Profound serenity is the product of unfaltering Trust and heightened vulnerability."
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More Cowbell
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More Cowbell
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PostFri Dec 14, 2007 2:09 pm 
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Fruitcake trivia

* In ancient Rome, a fruitcake contained raisins, pomegranate seeds and pine nuts mixed in a barley mash.

* The shelf life of many fruitcakes is 25 years, if they’re soaked in alcohol to prevent mold and stored tightly sealed.

* Fruitcakes were traditionally aged a year before eaten in Europe.

* Because of fruitcakes’ longevity, early warriors would carry them on long journeys; soldiers carried thin, chewy fruitcakes with them during the Crusades.

* Fruitcake bashing accelerated when Johnny Carson, then host of “The Tonight Show,” joked that there was really only one fruitcake in the world that keeps getting passed from one person to another.

* The expression “nutty as a fruitcake,” inspired by the abundance of nuts, dates to at least 1914, when it appeared in an obscure Eugene O’Neill play.

* Each January, hundreds of people show up in Manitou Springs, Colo., for the Great Fruitcake Toss. The record stands at 1,116 feet, accomplished using a mock artillery device created by a group of Boeing engineers.
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GeoTom
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PostFri Dec 14, 2007 2:11 pm 
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My option was not listed:

Quark is a Fruitcake.

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Yet
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PostFri Dec 14, 2007 2:16 pm 
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Quark wrote:
OK, deal.

I bought one at the store yesterday, and the little old man who bagged my groceries picked it up and exclaimed how much he loves fruitcake, and wondered if that particular brand was any good.

He insisted on carrying my bags for me, since I'm a lady and all, and I joked about not trusting him with my fruitcake.  He blushed and guffawed a little, but he knew I was joking.  Once at my car, I said, "I have an idea!  I was going to rip this baby wide open and have some, so why don't you and I just go ahead and try it!"  He got all embarrassed, but looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching.  I convinced him that his boss wouldn't mind, it's Christmas, afterall.

So he giggled and we ripped the cake open and tore off a big ole chunk and ate it, right there in the parking lot, in the rain.

It was great.

Aw, Quark, yer such a charmer.  wink.gif
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jimmymac
Zip Lock Bagger



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jimmymac
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PostFri Dec 14, 2007 2:38 pm 
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Yet wrote:
Aw, Quark, yer such a charmer.  wink.gif

Maybe so. But then anybody can charm.
Quark is one of those people who perceives, and often creates, those little kernels of oddness sprinkled into life's monotony. Daily, she generates the same general expression among those she comes in contact with:
"...you won't believe what happened today; it was the damnedest thing..."

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"Profound serenity is the product of unfaltering Trust and heightened vulnerability."
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Dogpatch
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Dogpatch
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PostFri Dec 14, 2007 3:27 pm 
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Awww Quark, that's the best Christmas story yet.

--------------
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
  Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read." – Groucho Marx
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Quark
Niece of Alvy Moore



Joined: 15 May 2003
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Quark
Niece of Alvy Moore
PostFri Dec 14, 2007 3:38 pm 
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Well, for all I know, his boss fired him.

Naw, QFC and Safeway hire adults with disabilities, like this man.  He told me that they (QFC) treat him very well, and he loves working there.  I love hearing stuff like that.

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"...Other than that, the post was more or less accurate."

Bernardo, NW Hikers' Bureau Chief of Reporting
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Toonces
unleashed



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Toonces
unleashed
PostFri Dec 14, 2007 3:47 pm 
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Fruitcake ordnance:



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If you show fear, a monkey will bully you.
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captain jack
Serving suggestion



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captain jack
Serving suggestion
PostFri Dec 14, 2007 3:57 pm 
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Stuffs like crack cocaine for me.
Coming from a British background, where these cakes were revered, not reviled, I know a good one when I taste it.
Quality fruit cakes are highly preserved, usually with lotsa booze, and sugar, so they age well, and get better, not worse as they get older.
I prefer the "dark" varieties myself, but if any good cake comes my way, well, it sure aint gonna end up contributing to Quarks waistline.
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