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MtnGoat
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Joined: 17 Dec 2001
Posts: 6283 | TRs | Pics
Location: Lyle, WA
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 Fri Jan 09, 2009 12:04 am Infomercial hell |
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this site is hilarious. it rips apart all the lousy late nite infomercials, including classics like that ponytail guy on the "Gazelle".
The ludicrousness that is Extenz has several pages for each version, including the half hour chat show hosted by The Hedgehog. Man, just ick.
One I had never seen but is so amazingly stupid, weird, and sick it's like a trainwreck. The Magic Bullet Blender.
Third rate Ken and Barbie are amazing their friends who keep showing up in the kitchen, by preparing all manner of vittles with the Magic Bullet.
There are these two unrelated frumpy drunks in the first one, Hazel the Cigarette Hag with this perpetual cigarette hanging from her pie hole, Berman the balding guy is a sloppy fat aging loser with dead eyes. There is the Perpetually Amazed Blonde who is a disturbing copy of Barbie. Various people keep drifting in to have breakfast in the kitchen.
In the second, they're camping. OMG. During another amazing demonstration of breakfast prowess, in the background Hazel the Cigarette Hag comes out of what is apparently Berman's tent, cancer stick in piehole, and looking freshly frazzled, if you know what I mean. Eew again! She thanks him for his socks...double ick! Berman kind of slumps down in his seat.
Even weirder, no one can figure out how she got there at all, you get the feeling she wasn't invited.
You meet Dino the Dumbass, and the henpecked lovelorn hubby who's wife makes him chop all the onions and garlic, because she likes to see him cry. Yes, they really say this...there is some weird subtext in this here stupidity.
Anyhow, read the hilarious play by play and then just watch the short clips, the full 20 min infomercial is just too much to take. The short clips encapsulate each characters shining moments. The reviews are great.
The Magic Bullet, Home Edition
Magic Bullet goes camping
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"Civilization is the process of setting man free from men."
- Ayn Rand |
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MtnGoat
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Joined: 17 Dec 2001
Posts: 6283 | TRs | Pics
Location: Lyle, WA
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| Fri Jan 09, 2009 12:28 am |
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really messed up
Santo Gold
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"Civilization is the process of setting man free from men."
- Ayn Rand |
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MtnGoat
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Joined: 17 Dec 2001
Posts: 6283 | TRs | Pics
Location: Lyle, WA
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| Fri Jan 09, 2009 12:35 am |
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This one, this one is special..Silence of the Lambs
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"Civilization is the process of setting man free from men."
- Ayn Rand |
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MtnGoat
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Joined: 17 Dec 2001
Posts: 6283 | TRs | Pics
Location: Lyle, WA
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GeoHiker
Slug wrangler
Joined: 26 Feb 2005
Posts: 3515 | TRs | Pics
Location: Off the grid
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MtnGoat, I think you have too much time on your hands!  I was sucked into the Magic Bullet fantasy land and it's actually a decent product. I use mine quite often. For a single guy, you can do up what ever and not have a ton of left overs.
Now, the party rings haven't come into play that often. My daughters have used it to make smoothies many times and it works like they say. I've had it for about 3 years and it still works like new. I have no complaints here. 
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If you don't do it this year, you'll be one year older when you do. Warren Miller |
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kleet
Thy dude abideth.
Joined: 06 Feb 2002
Posts: 4761 | TRs | Pics
Location: Cartografia
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| Fri Jan 09, 2009 7:28 am Re: Infomercial hell |
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| MtnGoat wrote: |
| During another amazing demonstration of breakfast prowess, in the background Hazel the Cigarette Hag comes out of what is apparently Berman's tent, cancer stick in piehole, and looking freshly frazzled, if you know what I mean. |
Blend together some garlic, gin, and stale cigarette ash, and you'll have a good idea of what it's like to French kiss Hazel. 
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...it's a topographical nightmare!
-Slugman |
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MtnGoat
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Joined: 17 Dec 2001
Posts: 6283 | TRs | Pics
Location: Lyle, WA
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| Fri Jan 09, 2009 10:33 am |
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good god, that is soooo nasty!
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"Civilization is the process of setting man free from men."
- Ayn Rand |
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Chainsaw_Willie
Dismember
Joined: 25 Jul 2008
Posts: 1570 | TRs | Pics
Location: A little under the weather
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That first video they have is seriously funny. What kind of drugs were these people on?
First Angel: "He sings so nice."
Second Angel: "Sort of like a washing machine."
First Angel: "Yes, a white and gold model."
????    ????
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"Some will fall in love with life and drink it from a fountain that is pouring like an avalanche coming down the mountain."
Pictures of hikes and other stuff here:
http://s114.photobucket.com/albums/n268/willhbaker/ |
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MtnGoat
Member
Joined: 17 Dec 2001
Posts: 6283 | TRs | Pics
Location: Lyle, WA
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| Sat Jan 10, 2009 12:30 am |
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and all the spelling mistakes in the copy? holy crap.
santo gold is really messed up. i mean i am nearly certain it is in earnest, but i cannot bring myself to believe anyone would actually release something like that, even from a garage shop. it is ed wood bad in a world of crappy commercials. i mean, look at those lyrics. and the space wrestling movie. music video. and selling fine gold jewelry...what? huh?
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"Civilization is the process of setting man free from men."
- Ayn Rand |
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