[Riverside Laker]

Touron, please calculate these for us: Driver C drives 60 miles at 60 mph. Driver D drives half that distance at 30 mph. How fast does driver B need to go to catch up with driver A? Driver E drives 60 miles at 60 mpg. Driver F drives half that distance at 30 mpg. What mpg does driver F need to "catch up", or get 60 mpg for the entire distance?

[touron]

Riverside, I will solve these one at a time, instead of my usual massivley parrallel method:

[Riverside Laker]

Alright, Einstein. You clearly have spent more time with Vanna than with Dr. Hawkings. Y'see, driver B has to drive at the speed of Warp Infinity to catch the Canadian, driver eh. But by driving that fast, time will have slowed down relative to, eh, A, so driver B can slow down and coast across the line at a snail's pace in a VW Rabbit, just ekeing past our tortoise Canadian, who was so smugly thinking he was gonna win the battle. Now let's discuss how driver E can ketchup D. Y'see, clearly it can be shown by the reader with a few casual calculations that both have used a gallon of petrol shoving their galleons the distance. But driver E knows that he mustard use his electric mode hybrid hypergalleon rig to jettison himself on the back of a Mac ferrying vehicles destined for MacDonalds 30 miles hence, thus ketchupping D and whistling the Mr. Ed song as he sails past. QED

[touron]

Riverside, QED, or whatever your name is, Your analysis is interesting and appears to be the product of much thought, but why should I trust you?? You are not a Phd like me. You did not spend eight years in the hallowed halls of academia plus several hours watching a few episodes of Wheel of Fortune. That doesn't mean you are wrong (because even a broken clock is correct twice a day), but I must read your computations with due deliberation, and a generous smidge of unbridled skepticism. Wait, you called me Einstein. Forget what I rambled above. Your are calculations are probably 100% correct plus 10 points of extra credit for you and an early recess. Now let's see: If you drive at Warp Infinity, you will have the Royal Canadian Mounted Police galloping up behind you (which means you are not going as fast as you think) yelling "whoa hossies, you are under arrest!" unless you are French Canadian, that is, because French is always pardoned. Now, Canadians are our relatives, so it is good that you factored relativity into your calculations. However, many consider them shoestring relatives, so I hope you are using shoestring theory, which is the cutting edge of psychics, because it conjectures the world fundamentally consists of broken laces. By the way, if your shoes have broken laces, or your laces are not tied, the Canadians will probably beat you in the race. And if you tie their shoelaces together you will probably win handily, according to shoestring theory, but don't let anyone else know that theory, k? It is our secret, which is why I am writing it to you in the post and not blabbing it to the world at large. Now, E can ketchup to D only by redlining. However kecthingup is basically being a vegetable as was famously proved a few years ago, so you can also veg out and win the race (basically relativity). If you don't try ketchup, or if you don't veg, but rather run the race half-arsedly, you will lose, so get your buns in gear and race to McDonalds, but don't drive thru it like the sign says, because, as I learned, you will total your car and the manager might end up putting you on the dollar menu. -Touron, PdH

[Malachai Constant]

Pfffitt

[Mugs]

[boot up]

I thought the head gasket issue just covered a certain range of years, after 2000. Sort of like Honda Accords be POS between 1998 and 2002, which I know because we owned a 2000 Accord which was constant EXPENSIVE trouble, including a dead auto transmission at 60k miles. Or Fords of ....well just about any year, unless you are the lucky 1 out of 1000 that seem to roll off the line and keep going on forever trouble free, that people refer to. Or a GM vehicle of ....well, people that buy those think putting a few thousand a year into a vehicle after year two, is just normal maintenance. I am gambling that Subaru finally fixed the head gasket issue on the new 2.0i engine. I will not be happy if they carried that issue over. Rumor has it that it was a materials problem combined with an odd electrical problem, and they fixed it after denying it for too long. Supposedly, if I can believe a local Subaru "expert" mechanic, you have to keep the battery terminals REALLY clean on the trouble years of cars otherwise the electrons have an easier route going through the engine instead of the wiring, dragging a gaggle of headgasket ions with them, eventually leaving a gap in said gasket.

[Allison]

Mugs, are you, or were you, a Subaru mechanic?

[Tom_Sjolseth]

I was going to ask the SAME QUESTION! My mechanic knows all there is to know about electrons (after all, how much really is there to know about them??).

[Mugs]

[tigermn]

Yea I know about timing BELTS and why they need to be replaced. I've owned cars in the past (and still own the van) that required replacement every whatever miles. I had one break once on a dodge car years ago. Luckily it didn't damage the engine. My point was why does anybody use that design when there is another option (the chain) that doesn't wear out near as often or as quick and isn't near as likely to snap and destroy your engine. I guess they are in cahoots with the mechanics.

[Mugs]

[Allison]

That reminds me of what I remember THE MOST about my Suub. camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump camtimingbeltwaterpump Times like a million gazillion. It seemed like it was every couple of tanks of gas, but it probably wasn't THAT often.

[David K]

[Tom_Sjolseth]

David K, you speak with reason and logic.. that is not welcome here.