[Tom]

[Layback]

You guys are so silly. Where’s you’re positive Mariners spirit? Growing up in Connecticut, I’ll admit that those Massachusetts fellers drove a little fast and talked wicked funny, but at the end of the day I knew that they all just wanted to be friends. You guys just need the spirit of Massachusetts in your life.

I’ll bet that Nelson Cruz likes masschussets. He’s always so happy. And that boomstick is wicked cool. Yay! Go mariners! They’re the best! True to the Blue!

[Foist]

[Layback]

I think that’s great that you lived in Boston for 5 years Foist! Wicked cool! I’ll bet that the Red Sox are your 3rd favorite team! When I went to the White Sox game this summer at the safe, I wore my Red Sox jersey because they’re both Sox teams and I think that’s neat. Everyone there thought I was confused but this one guy told me that his aunt’s borther’s friend used to live in Boston so the Red Sox are his second favorite team. So who do you guys think the Mariners will get this off season. I’ll bet we get someone really swell with some fancy kind of saying, like “Boom Stick”. That would be really neat because I could buy another jersey. Yay Mariners! Good bye baseball! True to the blue!

[trestle]

The Mariners need Theo Epstein.

[Layback]

The same Theo Epstein that brought the Boston Red Sox two World Series victories in 2004 and 2007? He’s the best! They’re my second favorite team behind the Mariners. I wonder if he’d come to a team with no tradition whatsoever? I mean the Red Sox and the Cubs have been around forever. Maybe if we paid him a lot of money like Cano and Cruz he’d look the other way. It would be a great place for him to sort of fade off into nothingness and retire. Maybe he’d go for it! Good bye baseball! True to the blue! Theo Epstein for GM! Yay Mariners!!!

[Joey]

oxymoron?

[Layback]

You’d have to be an oxygen-depleted moron to not be a fan of the Mariners. They’re the best! Yay! Go Mariners! Goooooooooo Mariners!!!!!!!

[Layback]

Well my 8th favorite team lost tonight! But boy is it exciting to see the Astros play in the World Series as an American League team! I figure that maybe there's a chance we could see the Mariners move the National League and play in the World Series. I mean, King Felix is so good that I'll bet he'd be a good hitter too. It would be like having Nelson Cruz be an ace reliever too! Plus if we got Theo Epstein we'd definitely win. The Mariner's leadership is known for making good decisions and getting good people to lead the organization so I'll be that as soon as the World Series is over and the Hot Stove League starts, we get Theo. He's the best. Do you think King Felix has a boom stick? Good bye baseball! Yay Mariners!!!

[trestle]

You're going to need mustard for that rye bread and salami grandma, if you're going to get Theo. From two storied franchises who had never won a thing to a third franchise that has never won a thing...why not? Just think of the Hollywood movie they could make, even with Jonah Goldberg.

[Layback]

Wait a second... Are you suggesting that Theo Epstein wouldn't want to come to the Mariners? They're the best!!! Of course he'd want to be a part of this awesome franchise. Anything is possible. Remember a few years ago when us silly Mariner's fans were calling the Astros, the "Lastros". It's funny because they're in the World Series now. The cool thing about being a Mariners fan is that you can have a second, third, fourth favorite team. And it’s okay to make fun of the last place team because one of your favorite teams is always doing good. Mariners fans are the best. Here’s to funny jokes! Goodbye baseball! True to the blue! Theo Epstein for GM! Yay Mariners!