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Bootpathguy
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Bootpathguy
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PostFri Dec 15, 2017 10:45 pm 
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This past Thursday I took advantage of the last nice day we will have west of the crest for a few days.

My criteria was something with some distance, minimal elevation gain, some snow, no humans ( or what we refer to humans as we know'em ) and a interesting and fun destination.

Minimal elevation gain typically equates to "no views". If I'm going to go on a long walk, with minimal elevation gain, at the least, I want to end up somewhere that was going to be fun, interesting, and hell!, why not! something possibly life threatening.

I parked at the road closed sign. Stepped out of the truck, dropped the tailgate and displayed these. Its my deterrent when I feel like I've parked in a sketchy area.



Translation

I have a gun
I'm probably close
I'm probably watching you
Don't even think about shattering my windows

I started hiking up the FS road just a couple ticks past 7:00 am. I followed some ATV tracks and the tracks of a single hiker with a dog companion to the second major washout. They looked several days old. Beyond that washout it was virgin snow.

I wish I had brought my snowshoes for the last 2 miles on the ascent, but I didn't think I'd need them today. I just booted the final stretch. Snow was in pretty good condition. 2 feet deep but I was only sinking about 8 inches at the maximum.

Wow! I've never seen so much rabbit and small feline activity. The snow in the upper stretches had lots of'em. I was just telling my wife a couple days ago that I'd like to start a winter activity and set up some game / trail cameras. This place would be perfect!



From where I parked, to my destination, was 5 miles and I covered it in 2 hours.  Very quiet and peaceful. Creek serenaded me most of the way. Entertained by all the wildlife evidence in the snow.

I arrived to this



What!? I didn't hike all this way to be turned around by a welded iron gate! Most would assume it's to keep people out.

On the contrary.


( In my Vincent Price scary voice )

It's to...keep... something... IN!

So I've been told

Human flesh craving, cave dwelling creatures won't scare me away. No sir!

By the way, for you young'ns, the voice of Vincent Price is who you hear at the end of Michael Jackson's song "Thriller"...

"Darkness falls across the land

The midnight hour is close at hand

Creatures crawl in search of blood

To terrorize y’all’s neighborhood

And whosoever shall be found

Without the soul for getting down

Must stand and face the hounds of hell

And rot inside a corpse’s shell

The foulest stench is in the air

The funk of forty thousand years

And grizzly ghouls from every tomb

Are closing in to share your doom

And though you fight to stay alive

Your body starts to shiver

For no mere mortal can resist

The evil of the thriller”...

Now go back and read the "scary voice" part again.

Gave you goosebumps, didn't it!?

I approached the iron bars and studied for a bit. I was looking for a secret door. You know, some Indiana Jones sh##. ( For you young'ns who don't know who Ind... nevermind ) Anyway, I proceeded to pull this, push that, lift this and twist that. Suddenly a small secret door opened up and I squeezed my way in.

Now, as the story goes. This cave was designed to keep something in. Many years ago there was a secret military project going on over at the Bremerton Naval Station. The experiment went drastically wrong. The things that were born during this failed experiment were taken to this secret spot to be destroyed and the cave to be sealed up forever.

Well, the word is, some of these things survived.

They are referred to as, "Cave Crawlers"

I started down the main shaft. Cold, dark and musty. Water drops and trickles echoing down the dark corridor. The rank, yet sweet smell of decaying flesh permeated the musty air.

I turned on my headlamp. I was told the Cave Crawlers don't like artificial light nor the song "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" and will do anything to avoid the light and the lyrics to that song. I'm saying to myself, "I hope my headlamp batteries are fresh and my tone in tune"



In a quivering, nervous and quiet tune, I start singing the only part of that song I know...

"Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan
Don't need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free"

Over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and...

Singing, and cautiously making my way down the shaft I explored the many hidden side shafts and upper shafts. Lots of evidence of the Cave Crawlers. They prefer to skitter across the ceiling of the caves. Any attack will come from above. Always be looking up.

I witnessed a couple areas that shows evidence that the Cave Crawlers are multiplying. The male cave crawlers spred sperm all over the cave ceiling and the female Cave Crawlers deposit their eggs in it to be fertilized.

Cave Crawler sperm



Cave Crawler fertilized eggs



I actually saw a teeny-tiny Cave Crawler wriggling around in one of the eggs ( think, frog eggs ) Cute little guy

I ventured a few hundred feet further down the main shaft and happened upon this. This is where the government attempted to dismember the Cave Crawler bodies in this contraption



and put the body parts and pieces in these boxes



and then dissolve the pieces and parts in a acid bath. Acid pumped into the top and the dissolved goo drains out the bottom



All the wile I'm in the cave I could hear strange screeching and skittering noises.

"...need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to..."

Even as frightened as I was, I wanted to see a "Cave Crawler".  I decided to venture down one of the side shafts.

"...out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan Don't need to be..."

I heard a eerie noise up and to my left. I quickly glanced up and my spotlight landed on this



I was so scared all I knew to do was, and out of habit... "HEY BEAR! YO BEAR! GOOD BEAR! HEY BEAR! GOOD BEAR!...and then out of instinct, I suddenly did this!...



Yes, that is in fact, the Karate Kid stance. "Fight or Flight!" Isn't that what they say are the 2 common reactions to being ascared of something?

That "bear' stuff seemed to work. The Cave Crawler didn't advance on me. I lowered my threatening challenge to a fight, and, decided on flight.

I about faced and hightailed it all the way out'a there.

"JUST SLIP OUT THE BACK, JACK, MAKE A NEW PLAN, STAN
DON'T NEED TO BE COY, ROY, JUST LISTEN TO ME
HOP ON THE BUS, GUS, DON'T NEED TO DISCUSS MUUUUUUUCH
JUST DROP OFF THE KEY, LEE, AND GET YOURSELF FREE!"

What a day! I could've been killed!

--------------
Experience is what'cha get, when you get what'cha don't want
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RayD
the griz ate my pass



Joined: 20 Aug 2005
Posts: 1479 | TRs
Location: Vacaville
RayD
the griz ate my pass
PostSat Dec 16, 2017 6:54 am 
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lol.gif  lol.gif
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ale_capone
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ale_capone
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PostSat Dec 16, 2017 7:32 am 
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Ha. Cool post.

Nice lair too.

Reminds me a little of Ted the caver.

http://www.angelfire.com/trek/caver/page1.html
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Jim Dockery
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Jim Dockery
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PostSat Dec 16, 2017 8:07 am 
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up.gif  up.gif

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jimdockery.com
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RichP
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Joined: 13 Jul 2006
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RichP
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PostSat Dec 16, 2017 8:27 am 
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I'm not much of a mine explorer but that one is cool. I did miss seeing the little guy in your last photo though. Glad you made it out alive.  eek.gif

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Without obsession, life is nothing. John Waters
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HitTheTrail
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HitTheTrail
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PostSat Dec 16, 2017 11:08 am 
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Was Gollum still looking for his Precious. Or was he in there mining some ore to make a new one?
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moonspots
Happy Curmudgeon



Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 1836 | TRs
Location: North Dakota
moonspots
Happy Curmudgeon
PostSat Dec 16, 2017 2:34 pm 
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Bootpathguy wrote:
I parked at the road closed sign. Stepped out of the truck, dropped the tailgate and displayed these. Its my deterrent when I feel like I've parked in a sketchy area.



Translation

I have a gun
I'm probably close
I'm probably watching you
Don't even think about shattering my windows

What a good idea! Why didn't I ever think about that?!

Now, when I get home, I'll read the rest of your report. Looks interesting, and thanks.

--------------
"Out, OUT you demons of Stupidity"! - St Dogbert, patron Saint of Technology
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moonspots
Happy Curmudgeon



Joined: 03 Feb 2007
Posts: 1836 | TRs
Location: North Dakota
moonspots
Happy Curmudgeon
PostSat Dec 16, 2017 2:39 pm 
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Bootpathguy wrote:
I was so scared all I knew to do was, and out of habit... "HEY BEAR! YO BEAR! GOOD BEAR! HEY BEAR! GOOD BEAR!...and slowly backed away

That seemed to work. The Cave Crawler didn't advance on me. Phew!

I couldn't wait, I *had* to see where this went. Funniest TR I've read in a LONG time!  lol.gif

up.gif

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"Out, OUT you demons of Stupidity"! - St Dogbert, patron Saint of Technology
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Bushwacker
With my girlfriend



Joined: 28 Jun 2002
Posts: 775 | TRs
Location: Pattaya, Thailand
Bushwacker
With my girlfriend
PostSat Dec 16, 2017 4:11 pm 
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Outstanding TR! ykm.gif

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"Wait by the river long enough and the bodies of your enemies will float by"...Sun Tsu
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bobbi
stillaGUAMish



Joined: 13 Jul 2006
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Location: olympics!
bobbi
stillaGUAMish
PostSat Dec 16, 2017 5:56 pm 
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perfect!  up.gif

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bobbi ૐ

"Today is your day!  Your mountain is waiting.  So…get on your way!" - Oh, the Places You’ll Go! By Dr. Seuss
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Nancyann
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Nancyann
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PostSat Dec 16, 2017 5:57 pm 
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Excellent, Bpg! up.gif
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Brushbuffalo
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Location: there earlier, here now, somewhere later... Bellingham in between
Brushbuffalo
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PostSat Dec 16, 2017 7:30 pm 
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I'm gonna have nightmares tonight.  I hate caves!  hairy.gif

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Passing rocks and trees like they were standing still
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Roly Poly
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Roly Poly
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PostSun Dec 17, 2017 9:51 am 
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I don't understand the deterrent part of this.
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Bootpathguy
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Bootpathguy
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PostSun Dec 17, 2017 10:27 am 
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moonspots wrote:
Bootpathguy wrote:
I parked at the road closed sign. Stepped out of the truck, dropped the tailgate and displayed these. Its my deterrent when I feel like I've parked in a sketchy area.



Translation

I have a gun
I'm probably close
I'm probably watching you
Don't even think about shattering my windows

What a good idea! Why didn't I ever think about that?!


I've never arrived back at my vehicle to a broken window. I know that's not proof that this deterrent works.

The rest of the prop are a handful of spent shell casings and a couple of crushed beer cans.

Note: don't do any "Hipster beers". Go "Hillbilly beer." Hillbillies are better shots than Hipsters

From my point of view, and if I had sinister intentions of breaking into this vehicle, and approached this scenario...

"Hmmm...looks like target shooters had a few beers and are now right over there behind a tree somewhere taking a piss. I wonder if they are watching me/us. Let's go!"

--------------
Experience is what'cha get, when you get what'cha don't want
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HermitThrush
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HermitThrush
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PostSun Dec 17, 2017 7:37 pm 
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Ya know, that's a pretty good system. I'll be remembering that. That cave is one spot I don't think I'd ever want to go, even though the cave monster does not exist. smile.gif
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