Forum Index > Trip Reports > GranolaGirl VS THE KILLER BEACH LOG
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GranolaGirl
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Joined: 15 Oct 2007
Posts: 159 | TRs | Pics
Location: Forest
GranolaGirl
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PostTue Jan 23, 2018 1:49 am 
It was dark out, salty, midnight at Kalaloch Lodge. My friend and I decided to go for a night hike along the sandy unicorn shores of the ocean because we’re bad ass raging female beasts. The stars were burning into our souls and the wind blew thru our hair and made us look like we were models- as long as you didn’t look at my face. I backpack and hike on the ocean all the time. More times than I can count. To say I was complacent was an under statement. But this was an easy walk... We hiked probably 3/4-1 mile along the beach. I was wearing my huge red hunter rain boots (it was a short hike and I was feelin fly). I was jumping in puddles like a 5 year old and singing the little mermaid letting the frothy white waves rush and swirl around my boots (ok whiskey may have been involved). By the time we turned around, the tide had eaten up the beach all the way to the piles of abused logs the ocean had thrown up and forgotten along the sides. A wave was coming, I could hear it! “I’m not gonna get wet cause I have my f*ckin awesome boots, mother f YEAH!” I’m thinking. We couldn’t see the beast because it was so dark. In fact you couldn’t see where the dark sky and the ocean ended and began- but I braced myself in my hipster boots for a small wave to swirl around them and I could again sing my mermaid tunes and wait for prince Erik. But prince Erik didn’t come. Instead- A large very powerful wave slammed into us picking up a big KILLER BEACH LOG and throwing it into me. Before I knew what was happening I was flying threw the air over the log into the dark salty swirling ocean. I threw my arms out (Did I mention that I was hiking with a healing broken collar bone? 😂) and into the churning waters of death I was thrown. I pulled my head up as the water pulled me out to create another wave. I tried digging my hands into the sand below but I couldn’t fight the pull. This wave had been working out. My friend couldn’t find me in the water. The swell was so hard I couldn’t stand, I looked up as a big wave 3 feet above my head raced toward me planning on destroying my perfect makeup. Important. I swirled around in the water in horror to see the KILLER BEACH LOG being drug out toward the sea behind me headed right toward me, preparing to pin me to my watery grave. It was as if I was being flushed along side of a big turd in the toilet of life. I tried to stand, my puffy, boots and pants full of water. It was either the wave or the log and I wasn’t having either- Not today Satan. I pulled myself up with my female hairy chested beast strength on my good and bad arms with all my might and was able to stand up in the churning water and logs of fury. I pulled against the tide and was able to half drag my body out of the ocean onto the beach. All my layers full of water and sand I looked like a beached haggered starfish. With red rain boots. Full of water. I was able to get back to the lodge and not freeze to death (apparently starfish are pretty resilient). Lesson learned, every hike is the first hike, no matter how frik’n easy, NEVER be complacent because you might die and...oh yeah-water proof mascara doesn’t work. #grownasswoman

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Gregory
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Joined: 08 Mar 2014
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Gregory
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PostTue Jan 23, 2018 7:52 am 
I was expecting to hear you were ducking behind a beach log to take a quick pee...happy you made it out all right!

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DIYSteve
seeking hygge



Joined: 06 Mar 2007
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Location: here now
DIYSteve
seeking hygge
PostTue Jan 23, 2018 8:29 am 
nicely played up.gif

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Jim Dockery
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Jim Dockery
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PostTue Jan 23, 2018 10:26 am 
Yowzers! Glad you're here to tell the hilarious/terrifying tale embarassedlaugh.gif

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Stefan
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Stefan
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PostTue Jan 23, 2018 10:32 am 
GranolaGirl wrote:
toward me planning on destroying my perfect makeup. Important.
You go girl. Glam it up! Take that Maybeline!

Art is an adventure.
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lookout bob
WTA proponent.....



Joined: 12 Apr 2005
Posts: 3043 | TRs | Pics
Location: wta work while in between lookouts
lookout bob
WTA proponent.....
PostTue Jan 23, 2018 10:43 am 
thankfully, you still have your bitchin' boots...... cool.gif

"Altitude is its own reward" John Jerome ( from "On Mountains")
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Pyrites
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Pyrites
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PostTue Jan 23, 2018 10:51 am 
Yipes!

Keep Calm and Carry On? Heck No. Stay Excited and Get Outside!
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Nancyann
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Joined: 28 Jul 2013
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Nancyann
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PostTue Jan 23, 2018 11:52 am 
eek.gif hairy.gif Glad you made it through ok, GG!

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Schroder
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Joined: 26 Oct 2007
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Location: on the beach
Schroder
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PostTue Jan 23, 2018 11:57 am 
Wow! Lesson learned. Glad to hear you're okay.

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Ancient Ambler
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Joined: 15 May 2007
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Location: Bainbridge Island
Ancient Ambler
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PostTue Jan 23, 2018 12:28 pm 
So glad to read how you defeated Satan and his nefarious attempts to do you in with a rogue wave and a Killer Beach Log at Kalaloch beach. Not only did you prevail over the Forces of Evil, you also broke through your TR-writer's block and gifted us with a long-awaited and superbly witty TR on your outdoor adventures. Hope there's lots more to come.

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Hiker Mama
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Joined: 25 Jun 2006
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Hiker Mama
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PostTue Jan 23, 2018 12:37 pm 
That sounds totally terrifying. I'm really glad you came out of it OK. How in the world did you manage to hang onto those boots?

My hiking w/ kids site: www.thehikermama.com
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DigitalJanitor
Dirt hippie



Joined: 20 May 2012
Posts: 792 | TRs | Pics
DigitalJanitor
Dirt hippie
PostTue Jan 23, 2018 1:56 pm 
Rock on, my semi-aquatic red booted sister. Rock on. peace.gif rockband.gif

~Mom jeans on wheels
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Sculpin
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Sculpin
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PostTue Jan 23, 2018 6:20 pm 
The mind boggles at the incomprehensible odds against three major perturbations in the space-time continuum - a rogue wave, a killer beach log, and granola girl - co-existing at the same time in the same location. frown.gif

Between every two pines is a doorway to the new world. - John Muir
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puzzlr
Mid Fork Rocks



Joined: 13 Feb 2007
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Location: Stuck in the middle
puzzlr
Mid Fork Rocks
PostTue Jan 23, 2018 9:27 pm 
That's scary. There are important things to learn about the beach and waves, which I did not learn until much later in life than you are now. Here is a photo that makes me shudder. We let our young children play behind a beach log on Rialto Beach and they loved it when a big wave would splash over the log on them. Parents -- do not do this!!! One slightly larger wave could have lifted that log and dropped it right on one of them.
1995 Rialto Beach
1995 Rialto Beach

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Malachai Constant
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Location: Back Again Like A Bad Penny
Malachai Constant
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PostTue Jan 23, 2018 10:48 pm 
My sister in law was almost finished off by a beach log just like the sceen in Sometimes a Great Notion.

"You do not laugh when you look at the mountains, or when you look at the sea." Lafcadio Hearn
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