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Bootpathguy Member
Joined: 18 Jun 2015 Posts: 1788 | TRs | Pics Location: United States |
I'm signed up for a 8 person group hike through the Enchantments in mid August and bhair spray is a requirement. No "ifs", "ands, or "buts". Mandatory! It's a 1 day through hike. I'm reading through the email about the group requirements and rules.
Quote...
"Agree to purchasing the required gear (day pack, hiking shoes, water filter, bear spray, hiking poles)"
Unquote...
If I don't have it during "equipment check" at the trailhead, then I have to go home. Anybody! who doesn't have it, has to go home.
My email question
"Dear 2 team leaders, I'm inquiring about the requirement to have bhair spray. There will be 8 of us. 8 cans of bhair spray? Seriously? Think maybe we can cut this down by 50%? Maybe more? Maybe just the 2 group leaders? Seems like overkill. I paid $200 for the privilege of hiking with this group. Seems to me bhair spray should be included. So, what say you?"
Response
"No!"
My response
"Why?"
Response
"Because"
My response
"Because why?"
Response
"What if you run into a bear?"
My response
"I see it's not required ( not on the list ) to carry sunscreen for our mid August adventure. What if I run into some...god forbid...Sun!?"
Response
"Well then, borrow some sunscreen from somebody else in the remaining group"
My response
"Well then, if we're allowed to borrow stuff from one another and we happen to run into a bhair, can't I just say?..."Hey friend! toss me your bhair spray!"
Response
"Bear Spray! It's referred to as bear spray! Not "bhair spray". I hear a little bit of a condescending attitude in your email tone. Are you not taking this serious? Bear spray could save your life. And, NO! No borrowing bear spray!"
My response
"Sorry! Bear spray" Anyway, where can I get some of that bhair spray?"
Response
"Try REI"
Off to REI I go
Walked through the ice ax adorned doors of REI and I was greeted by...of all people...a....GREETER!
What's up with the greeters? Nevermind! Different rant for a different day.
But...
BUT, how much more do I pay for my replacement boot laces because somebody greeted me on the other side of the door and said "hello" to me and / or "can I point you in a direction?"
I'm thinking...
"No! I have my f###'n GPS and I know how to backtrack! This is a f###'n REI store! Not a featureless desert!" Piss off!"
So much for not ranting
"Hello. Can I point you in a direction?"
"Well, since you offered, where is your bhair spray"
"Sorry. What did you say?"
"Bhair spray"
"It "sounds" like you are saying... "bee-hair spray"
"I am"
You mean... "bear spray?" Your voice sounds a little condescending. Are you not taking the very important backcountry necessity to ALWAYS! carry bear spray serious? It could save your life!"
"No! I'm not taking it serious cuz I think it's ridiculous that I'm required to carry bhair spray. Im going on a group hike. A one day through hike through the Enchantments. I'm sure you know the place. Leavenworth's summer equivalent to Federal Way's Enchanted Village. You have to buy tickets for both. Drive in circles until you can find a parking spot. Stand in lines. People pooping where they shouldn't. Bla, bla, bla. Anyway, bhair spray is mandatory or I can't go. 8 people. And all of us carrying bhair spray. It's stupid!"
"BEAR SPRAY!" It's b...e...a...r spray and we're are sold out"
"What! You've got to be kidding me"
"Yep! Sold out! Can't keep it on the shelf!"
I left and went back to my computer
"Dear 2 team leaders, I went to REI and they are sold out of bhair spray. They can't keep it on the shelves. They said it goes quick. I don't have the time to keep running back and forth hoping to get lucky enough to find it there. Can you please make an exception?
Response
"No!"
My response
"Why?"
Response
"Because"
My response
"Because why?"
Response
"What if you run into a bear"
My response
"Instead of bhair spray, can I use my unicorn call?"
Response
"No!"
My response
"WHY!!!"
Response
"Because those only work for polar bears. I read it on the internet. Here's the link...
https://www.nwhikers.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=8025828
Experience is what'cha get, when you get what'cha don't want
Experience is what'cha get, when you get what'cha don't want
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neek Member
Joined: 12 Sep 2011 Posts: 2336 | TRs | Pics Location: Seattle, WA |
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neek
Member
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Tue May 08, 2018 5:57 pm
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I have a 30 yr old expired can you can have if you want. It's only been used for culinary purposes so far so is probably still good.
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Waterman Member
Joined: 21 Mar 2015 Posts: 589 | TRs | Pics Location: Big Snow Quadrangle |
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Waterman
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Tue May 08, 2018 6:24 pm
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Why go in August? The chant's must be done at least once. In October, besides the bhairs will be hibernating at that time.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,I took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
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Nancyann Member
Joined: 28 Jul 2013 Posts: 2316 | TRs | Pics Location: Sultan Basin |
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Nancyann
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Tue May 08, 2018 8:01 pm
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Have you considered the possibility that this particular group might not be a good fit for you?
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Randito Snarky Member
Joined: 27 Jul 2008 Posts: 9512 | TRs | Pics Location: Bellevue at the moment. |
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Randito
Snarky Member
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Tue May 08, 2018 8:27 pm
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I wonder what sort of kick back they get from gear sales...
Anyway -- what kind of group was this ? Was this some sort of commercially guided trip? If so I wonder how the USFS fits this into their quota system.
Obviously the trip leader needs to improve their communication skills. But then perhaps you also have that opportunity as well.
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gb Member
Joined: 01 Jul 2010 Posts: 6308 | TRs | Pics
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gb
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Tue May 08, 2018 8:49 pm
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Obviously the group leader is naive. It might be worth it to look into how many bear attacks have taken place in Washington State since the turn of the 20th century. There may have been one and that life would have been saved with bhairspray.
In the Enchantments? - one of the most popular and crowded destinations in the Cascades and with a group of 8? If there was a bear your voices would scare it away. Bring a megaphone.
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olderthanIusedtobe Member
Joined: 05 Sep 2011 Posts: 7708 | TRs | Pics Location: Shoreline |
Ditch the group and do a 1 day through hike of the Chants on your own. Problem solved.
I'm not sure which if any parts of this to take seriously. Am I understanding this is a day hike and not an overnighter? Unless it was changed recently you don't have to win the lottery for a day trip up there, can do a normal self issuing permit for Alpine Lakes Wilderness at the trailhead (although they often run out of these so I like to stop at the 8 Mile Lake TH and grab a permit there).
Are there even any bears in the Chants? If there are, they will be running off quickly in the opposite direction when they see a group of 8 hikers coming toward them. Your trip leader is way overselling the necessity of bear spray. Ask the trip leader if you need goat spray. That will come in handy way more than bear spray up there. I've also seen marmots and ptarmigan up there, not sure if there is any deterrent in a spray bottle available for those dangerous critters.
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Randito Snarky Member
Joined: 27 Jul 2008 Posts: 9512 | TRs | Pics Location: Bellevue at the moment. |
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Randito
Snarky Member
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Tue May 08, 2018 9:18 pm
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What commercial group is charging $200 a head for a group hike through the Enchantments? Do they have special use permit from the forest service to do this?
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Just_Some_Hiker Member
Joined: 02 Jan 2013 Posts: 691 | TRs | Pics Location: Snoqualmie, WA |
I'm not sure if this is satire or not...
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Justus S. Member
Joined: 17 Nov 2004 Posts: 1298 | TRs | Pics Location: WA |
Maybe your leader really means goat spray for the chants? Seriously, you should maybe ask your leader about substituting bear bells for the bhair spray.
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mtn.climber Member
Joined: 29 Jul 2008 Posts: 1203 | TRs | Pics Location: The Lost Horizon |
Tell us what group this could possibly be. I would want to make sure I would never be connected with anything as asinine as this. What a moron!!
Reach for the sky, cuz tomorrow may never come.
Live the life of love. Love the life you live.
Reach for the sky, cuz tomorrow may never come.
Live the life of love. Love the life you live.
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Bootpathguy Member
Joined: 18 Jun 2015 Posts: 1788 | TRs | Pics Location: United States |
Experience is what'cha get, when you get what'cha don't want
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Schenk Off Leash Man
Joined: 16 Apr 2012 Posts: 2372 | TRs | Pics Location: Traveling, with the bear, to the other side of the Mountain |
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Schenk
Off Leash Man
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Wed May 09, 2018 8:24 am
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Something was apparently lost in translation.
Bee-hive hair spray...that is what is needed.
A Bee-hive coiffure simply will not survive a 1-day through hike of the Enchantments without it.
Nature exists with a stark indifference to humans' situation.
Nature exists with a stark indifference to humans' situation.
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Just_Some_Hiker Member
Joined: 02 Jan 2013 Posts: 691 | TRs | Pics Location: Snoqualmie, WA |
So why exactly are you going with this group and pissing away your money?
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Nancyann Member
Joined: 28 Jul 2013 Posts: 2316 | TRs | Pics Location: Sultan Basin |
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Nancyann
Member
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Wed May 09, 2018 8:36 am
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He's not. It's what BPG calls "a parody on facts".
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