[The Angry Hiker]

Spring is here, which means it's time for another Poo Poo Point Long Drive Golf Competition. And what a perfect day it was for it! The rain clouds had parted, the sun was out, bags of trail poop were few and far between, and the tee was thankfully clear of the flying nerds that usually infest the area like lice on a wino's crotch.

Issaquack from the Poo Poo Point Driving Range

Issaquack

Participating in this year's event were three of my climbing students, including the infamous Helmet Cam Boy, who came perilously close to having his helmet-cam placed strategically up his catflap. Just an FYI, when I say "Don't point that damn thing at me," I don't mean "Run up and shove it in my face." After a few minutes of listening to everyone piss and moan about me showing up an hour late (another FYI: they were an hour EARLY), we made our way up the hill to the Poo Poo Point Driving Range. The competitors spent a few minutes lining up their shots, and taking warm-up swings before the contest officially began.

Lining up the shot

The judges prepare with some pre-event crotch sniffing

Unfortunately, we forgot the tees. So we had to belt the balls right off the raw astroturf. No matter. Competitors would be judged on distance, not accuracy. The strong updraft that draws flying nerds from their nerd breeding grounds like flies to a bag of trail poop has also been known to propel golf balls as far as the Issaquah Brewery - which is coincidentally the first place look for them afterwards. The reigning champion, B-Dog, too the first swing. B-Dog is no slouch when it comes to golf, and boy did he BELT IT this time!

The backswing

B-Dog launches one off of PPP

The crowd cheered as the ball soared into the valley, arced to the left, and vanished below the tree line, followed shortly thereafter by the sound of breaking glass and a car alarm. Excellent shot, B-Dog! Not quite to the Brewery but at least as far as the highway.

B-Dog attempts to bribe the judges

Next up was Helmet Cam Boy, who did a fine job calming the nerves of panicky onlookers with a little bit of golf humor. "Don't worry," he assured them. "I won't hit the ball!" Such modesty. Despite his girly backswing, HCB practically launched the ball into orbit. We could very well have a new champ here, folks!

HCB lines up his shot while a judge looks on

Gotta be pleased with that one!

We packed our gear and vamoosed before any slack-jawed yokels could make a 9/11 call, and arrived back at the trailhead shortly before sunset. Helmet-Cam's Titleist was sitting pretty-as-you-please in the trail just shy of the parking lot.

HCB's ball?

The hunt

Is that a Titleist?

That's some slice!

The Victor?

B-Dog's ball was nowhere to be found, but there was every indication that it had bounced off a jeep and rolled all the way to the Issaquah Brewery, where he's still looking for it.

Oooops!

It was a tough call, but the judges went with Helmet Cam. Gratz, HCB, and good luck in the Rattlesnake Ledge competition next week!

[Kim Brown]

TAH's first trip report - it's officially hiking season!

[fourteen410]

[Magellan]

Speechless...

[Slugman]

Priceless.

[NWtrax]

nice form

[Slugman]

"I have to work on my game" "No no no, don't think of it as work....."

[Snowdog]

Yay!!!! AH is back...... my heart has been aching, you have been missed!

[tigermn]

Hmmm... I never thought much about bringing a small bucket and a few golf clubs up there... I've got a bunch of old shag balls that would fit the bill. I guess I could use two golf clubs as trekking poles on the hike up and down.

[Sadie's Driver]

[hikrgrrl]

We hiked across Rattlesnake yesterday, and totally avoided "The Ledge" as it was infested with flip flops and poodles. We could hear them yapping from the third and second ledges (the poodles)- and I could have sworn there were yelps traveling as far as the peak. Best of luck on the next competition.

[Z]

Strange clip job on your poodle there, AH. What happened to the tail pom-pom?

[AR]

Okay...who's the chick that apparently moseyed up there in her work clothing not even breaking a sweat. What the hell happened to the Jeep? Does that happen only when you guys are there? I assume the judges are of the non-defecating verity.