[Bootpathguy]

I'm signed up for a 8 person group hike through the Enchantments in mid August and bhair spray is a requirement. No "ifs", "ands, or "buts". Mandatory! It's a 1 day through hike. I'm reading through the email about the group requirements and rules. Quote... "Agree to purchasing the required gear (day pack, hiking shoes, water filter, bear spray, hiking poles)" Unquote... If I don't have it during "equipment check" at the trailhead, then I have to go home. Anybody! who doesn't have it, has to go home. My email question "Dear 2 team leaders, I'm inquiring about the requirement to have bhair spray. There will be 8 of us. 8 cans of bhair spray? Seriously? Think maybe we can cut this down by 50%? Maybe more? Maybe just the 2 group leaders? Seems like overkill. I paid $200 for the privilege of hiking with this group. Seems to me bhair spray should be included. So, what say you?" Response "No!" My response "Why?" Response "Because" My response "Because why?" Response "What if you run into a bear?" My response "I see it's not required ( not on the list ) to carry sunscreen for our mid August adventure. What if I run into some...god forbid...Sun!?" Response "Well then, borrow some sunscreen from somebody else in the remaining group" My response "Well then, if we're allowed to borrow stuff from one another and we happen to run into a bhair, can't I just say?..."Hey friend! toss me your bhair spray!" Response "Bear Spray! It's referred to as bear spray! Not "bhair spray". I hear a little bit of a condescending attitude in your email tone. Are you not taking this serious? Bear spray could save your life. And, NO! No borrowing bear spray!" My response "Sorry! Bear spray" Anyway, where can I get some of that bhair spray?" Response "Try REI" Off to REI I go Walked through the ice ax adorned doors of REI and I was greeted by...of all people...a....GREETER! What's up with the greeters? Nevermind! Different rant for a different day. But... BUT, how much more do I pay for my replacement boot laces because somebody greeted me on the other side of the door and said "hello" to me and / or "can I point you in a direction?" I'm thinking... "No! I have my f###'n GPS and I know how to backtrack! This is a f###'n REI store! Not a featureless desert!" Piss off!" So much for not ranting "Hello. Can I point you in a direction?" "Well, since you offered, where is your bhair spray" "Sorry. What did you say?" "Bhair spray" "It "sounds" like you are saying... "bee-hair spray" "I am" You mean... "bear spray?" Your voice sounds a little condescending. Are you not taking the very important backcountry necessity to ALWAYS! carry bear spray serious? It could save your life!" "No! I'm not taking it serious cuz I think it's ridiculous that I'm required to carry bhair spray. Im going on a group hike. A one day through hike through the Enchantments. I'm sure you know the place. Leavenworth's summer equivalent to Federal Way's Enchanted Village. You have to buy tickets for both. Drive in circles until you can find a parking spot. Stand in lines. People pooping where they shouldn't. Bla, bla, bla. Anyway, bhair spray is mandatory or I can't go. 8 people. And all of us carrying bhair spray. It's stupid!" "BEAR SPRAY!" It's b...e...a...r spray and we're are sold out" "What! You've got to be kidding me" "Yep! Sold out! Can't keep it on the shelf!" I left and went back to my computer "Dear 2 team leaders, I went to REI and they are sold out of bhair spray. They can't keep it on the shelves. They said it goes quick. I don't have the time to keep running back and forth hoping to get lucky enough to find it there. Can you please make an exception? Response "No!" My response "Why?" Response "Because" My response "Because why?" Response "What if you run into a bear" My response "Instead of bhair spray, can I use my unicorn call?" Response "No!" My response "WHY!!!" Response "Because those only work for polar bears. I read it on the internet. Here's the link... https://www.nwhikers.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=8025828

[neek]

I have a 30 yr old expired can you can have if you want. It's only been used for culinary purposes so far so is probably still good.

[Waterman]

Why go in August? The chant's must be done at least once. In October, besides the bhairs will be hibernating at that time.

[Nancyann]

Have you considered the possibility that this particular group might not be a good fit for you?

[Randito]

I wonder what sort of kick back they get from gear sales... Anyway -- what kind of group was this ? Was this some sort of commercially guided trip? If so I wonder how the USFS fits this into their quota system. Obviously the trip leader needs to improve their communication skills. But then perhaps you also have that opportunity as well.

[gb]

Obviously the group leader is naive. It might be worth it to look into how many bear attacks have taken place in Washington State since the turn of the 20th century. There may have been one and that life would have been saved with bhairspray. In the Enchantments? - one of the most popular and crowded destinations in the Cascades and with a group of 8? If there was a bear your voices would scare it away. Bring a megaphone.

[olderthanIusedtobe]

Ditch the group and do a 1 day through hike of the Chants on your own. Problem solved. I'm not sure which if any parts of this to take seriously. Am I understanding this is a day hike and not an overnighter? Unless it was changed recently you don't have to win the lottery for a day trip up there, can do a normal self issuing permit for Alpine Lakes Wilderness at the trailhead (although they often run out of these so I like to stop at the 8 Mile Lake TH and grab a permit there). Are there even any bears in the Chants? If there are, they will be running off quickly in the opposite direction when they see a group of 8 hikers coming toward them. Your trip leader is way overselling the necessity of bear spray. Ask the trip leader if you need goat spray. That will come in handy way more than bear spray up there. I've also seen marmots and ptarmigan up there, not sure if there is any deterrent in a spray bottle available for those dangerous critters.

[Randito]

What commercial group is charging $200 a head for a group hike through the Enchantments? Do they have special use permit from the forest service to do this?

[Just_Some_Hiker]

I'm not sure if this is satire or not...

[Justus S.]

Maybe your leader really means goat spray for the chants? Seriously, you should maybe ask your leader about substituting bear bells for the bhair spray.

[mtn.climber]

Tell us what group this could possibly be. I would want to make sure I would never be connected with anything as asinine as this. What a moron!!

[Bootpathguy]

It's parody on fact. I'm not bashing the... "co-ed endurance hike to raise funds for the nonprofit organization __________" $200 a head. All "36" spots sold out. Good for them. "We are able to take 36 hikers for this event and we will be hiking in groups of 8 (with 2 experienced leaders) max due to official trail limitations. THE COST IS $200. Half of the ticket sales go directly to __________". ( The math doesn't add up, but oh well ) 36 f###'n cans of bhair spray! Blows my mind! Especially because of the completely unnecessary need to have it! I used to think this new trend of bhairanoia and irrational fear was humorous. Now, it's just annoying & irritating. I attempted to rant about it with humor without sounding like a dick. But yes, satire on the facts... *Bear spray required *$200 for the privilege of a 1 day Enchantments through hike *A Online store "sold out" of bhair spray *Someone offended because I made fun of bhair spray and "how it could save my life"

[Schenk]

Something was apparently lost in translation. Bee-hive hair spray...that is what is needed. A Bee-hive coiffure simply will not survive a 1-day through hike of the Enchantments without it.

[Just_Some_Hiker]

So why exactly are you going with this group and pissing away your money?

[Nancyann]

He's not. It's what BPG calls "a parody on facts".